Hair Licker
Spit baths aren't just for cats – sometimes our furry friends like to turn their tongues on us. Listen on for moral support and tips on how to handle your cat when it decides it's time they give you a bath. Meow Kitties!
Listen to Episode #12 Now:
Transcript:
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Announcer: Let's talk pets.
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Announcer: Cat lovers and feline friends, it's time for Adele Park's Quirky Cat Nips.
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Have you ever accidentally chewed a piece of hair that got mixed up in your food?
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It's offensively vile, even when that hair comes from your own head.
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I can't imagine what life is like for a cat, especially a long hair like my kitten, Allison.
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I never blame Allison for the poop pickles that sometimes get snagged in her fur.
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I mean, who really wants to lick their own butt clean?
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I try to mitigate this repugnant situation by shaving the area around Allison's tuchus, although this doesn't stop her from slurping up the messy aftermath.
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While I can accept Allison's motivational meetings with her own rear end, I draw the line when it comes to sharing her tongue with me.
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I know where that thing has been.
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Which is why I was exceptionally mortified to wake up one night to find Allison licking my hair.
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This hideous hair licking became a regular routine with Allison, so I took to the internet to find out if it's normal.
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Turns out, I'm not the only victim of these middle of the night hair raids.
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I was distressed to learn this behavior is supposed to be a compliment.
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Excuse me, kitty, but I'm not that kind of girl.
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In an effort to quell this unsavory grooming, I followed a suggestion to make my hair smell like citrus.
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Apparently, there's something to the old adage about sour pusses.
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They reportedly don't like this smell.
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Sadly, such is not the case with Allison.
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In fact, she lapped at my citrus-scented bedhead like it was a sirloin pork roast.
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It was time to implement tip number two.
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Run for cover.
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Or more specifically, cover my head with the blanket until I felt like that sirloin pork roast cooking in a Dutch oven.
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Allison tapped on my noggin through the covers a few times, but eventually got bored and went off to do something really important, like lick my toothbrush.
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I came out of the situation literally steaming, but at least I wasn't getting my hair washed in kitty spit.
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What happens when cosmetics and polygamy collide?
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Find out in Quirky Killers by Adele Park.
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Take a trip to quirky polygamist country, where one of the local brides is just itching to get her husbands to heaven in a hurry.
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Quirky Killers, get it today on audible.com.
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You'll die laughing.
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Announcer: Let's Talk Pets, every week on demand.
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Announcer: Only on petliferadio.com.